Heavy Metal Movies: The Book

mcbeardo:

In January 2011, I cracked open the indispensable reference book Swedishsensationfilms by Daniel Ekeroth and read in a preface by the book’s publisher, Ian Christe of the megalithicBazillion Points, how the book’s completion had taken “two-and-a-half years”.

Ha! I thought. Well, I’ve got that on Ekeroth. No waaay Heavy Metal Movies is going to take two-and-a-half-years to come out!

And I was right: when the book is finally filling your mitts this May, that epiphany will have taken place THREE-and-a-half years ago.

At the time, I had recently submitted a proposal for HMM to Mr. Christe and he took me up on it. I have worked on Heavy Metal Movies every single day since then. And I still am. And I will continue to, smack up to the final moment when a printer pries the final proof from my frantic fingers and swats me down with a “STOP! STOP! STAHHHHPPPPP!”

That moment, alas, is nearly here. Heavy Metal Movies is now available for pre-order from Bazillion Points. Please skedattle over there and rustle yourself up a copy (or many, many, many copies).

Pre-orders will receive a Heavy Metal Movies fabric patch AND a handmade, artisan barf bag.

More will be revealed between this juncture and publication day.

This book WILL explode any notions you’ve ever had on what we all tentatively agree resembles “reality.”

You just CAN’T miss out! After all you read about the FREE ARTISAN BARF BAG, didn’t you?

Pre-Order HEAVY METAL MOVIES

$24.95

Guitar Barbarians, Mutant Bimbos & Cult Zombies Amok in the 666 Most Ear- and Eye-Ripping Big-Scream Films Ever! Preorders ship May 2014 with bonuses!

Positively the most horrifying book ever written! Lavishly illustrated and featuring more than 666 of the most metallic movie moments of all time. The ultimate guidebook to the complete molten musical cinema experience.

*** Preorders ship May 2014 with limited color cover artwork patch, plus an exclusive barf bag!!

IS

BN 978-19359500-6-6
High-quality trade paperback
576 eye-blasting pages including color section
Original cover painting by Andrei Bouzikov
Dimensions: 6.75″ x 9.5″ x 1.5″ (170mm x 240mm x 40mm); 4 lbs. (1.5 kg)

Heavy Metal Movies is the head banging-est, ear bleeding-est tribute to the world’s two finest inventions: heavy metal and the movies!”—John Fasano (Zombie NightmareBlack RosesRock ‘N Roll Nightmare)

“Heavy metal and movies go together perfectly—it’s about damn time somebody dedicated a book to the two! Thank you, Mike McPadden, for answering our headbanging, metal horns-raising, VHS-watching, prayers!”—Richard Christy (Death, Howard Stern, Decibel)

Keep reminding yourself: IT’S ONLY A BOOK…

Heavy metal and high-thrill cinema have been joined together like mutant twins since before Black Sabbath took the name of a chilling Italian horror film in 1970. The unadulterated journey of Heavy Metal Moviesspans concert movies and trippy midnight flicks, inspirational depictions of ancient times and future apocalypses, and raw hand-held digital video obsessions. As brash, irreverent, and visceral as both the music and the movies themselves, Heavy Metal Movies is the ultimate guidebook to the complete molten musical cinema experience.

Exploding with over 666 (almost two times over) of the most intense movies of all-time, featuring:

Headbanger classics: This Is Spinal TapHeavy Metal Parking LotTrick or TreatBlack RosesBlack SabbathThe Decline and Fall of Western Civilization 2: The Metal YearsRock ‘N Roll NightmareThe DungeonmasterRiver’s EdgeGummoLord of the RingsOver the EdgeRoboCopSawSavage StreetsThe Toxic AvengerHard Rock ZombiesThe Phantom of ParadiseAirheadsEvilspeakEvil DeadThe Devil’s RejectsMonster DogThe Wicker Man

Disturbing documentaries: Metal: A Headbanger’s JourneySome Kind of MonsterParadise LostFaces of Death

Bulging barbarians: Conan the DestroyerClash of the TitansThe Sword and The Sorcerer

Satanic shockers: The ExorcistRosemary’s BabyThe DevilsHouse of 1000 Corpses

Splattery slashers: ManiacHalloweenMy Bloody ValentineSleepaway Camp

Post-nuke dystopias: Mad MaxBlade RunnerThe Road WarriorMegaforceZardozLand of Doom,Death Race 2000Planet of the Apes

Carnivorous chunk-blowers: Cannibal HolocaustCannibal FeroxBloodsucking Freaks

Undead gut-munchers: ZombieDawn of the DeadBurial GroundDead/Alive

Midnight mind-benders: EraserheadThe Holy MountainCaligulaThe WarriorsRepo: The Genetic Opera

Concert films and killer cameos by Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Napalm Death, Godflesh, White Zombie, Alice Cooper, Helmet, Cannibal Corpse, Kiss, Powermad, and countless fake hair metal bands who end up getting killed onscreen…

Plus witches, werewolves, bikers, aliens, lesbian vampires, and vengeful vikings galore, over 1300 sin-ematic sensations in all.

Brooklyn-born Mike “McBeardo” McPadden is the head writer of the online phenomenon Mr. Skin. In addition to years of freelance journalism (EsquireBlack BookNew York Press), and more than a decade as a Hustler editor and correspondent, Mr. McPadden has also done time as a B-movie screenwriter. He lives in Chicago with his wife, xoJane.com editor Rachel McPadden.

1970s Animal Uprising/Naturesploitation = always metal.

There’s your double feature. 

Yeah, somebody who’s not me will have to write the book NEW WAVE MOVIES.

Yeah, somebody who’s not me will have to write the book NEW WAVE MOVIES.

Evil-Lyn, Mistress of the Universe. Meg Foster, naturally spooky eyes aside, fell short in the ‘87 MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. Who would be your dream-casting version?

Evil-Lyn, Mistress of the Universe. Meg Foster, naturally spooky eyes aside, fell short in the ‘87 MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. Who would be your dream-casting version?

These things happen. In Italian cannibal movies. And on Ghana movie posters.

These things happen. In Italian cannibal movies. And on Ghana movie posters.

Remember the softcore porn edit of Halloween?

Remember the softcore porn edit of Halloween?

mcbeardo:

Halloween costume solved. 

Your author of HEAVY METAL MOVIES: THE BOOK, trick-or-treating soon at a pants-optional samhain rite near you.

mcbeardo:

Halloween costume solved. 

Your author of HEAVY METAL MOVIES: THE BOOK, trick-or-treating soon at a pants-optional samhain rite near you.

Bob Guccione’s never-before-seen, nearly three-hour version of Caligula is online now. This is for me. For $6.95



Download it here from the Gooch site and read this fantastically appropriate bloated description:

"What is/was the reality of Caligula? The historical epic conceived and backed by Bob Guccione has gone down in movie history as one of the most outrageous runaway productions since…well, since Cleopatra, another, very different, very long historical epic.

"The story of the making of Caligula is a kind of, well, if we may be forgiven yet another film reference, a Rashomon in and of itself, with different parties, from aggrieved writer Gore Vidal to bemused star Malcolm McDowell to besieged director Tinto Brass, everyone has a different version.

"And now the Guccione Collection presents another piece of the puzzle, or answer to the puzzle. Straight from Bob Guccione’s own personal archive, an assembly of Caligula practically hand-edited by Guccione himself.

"The hard-core sex footage shot by the producer himself, expanding his ahead-of-its-time vision of a ground-breaking explicit look at the ancient world.

"The expansive narrative concocted by Vidal and shot by Brass with an all-star cast featuring Peter O’Toole, Sir John Gielgud, young Helen Mirren and of course the brilliant McDowell. The excesses of the mad emperor and the excesses of the ambitious, driven movie makers bleed into each other to create a cinematic experience like no other.

"More madness. More imperial mendacity. More Caligula.

"You know you’re curious."





When it came out—and up to now, I guess—I refused to see Nightwing because it was rated PG. I did flip through the Fotonovel at Newberry’s in Keyport, New Jersey, though.

As a kid, I always accompanied my mother to that department store because Keyport was home to the Strand theater, a porn palace outside of which I’d stare at the posters and try to soak up whatever sexual vibes I imagined the place was radiating.

Zombie I saw at the sensationally ramshackle Colonial theater in my edenic Keansburg, New Jersey.

That, for sure, wasn’t rated PG (I know: it wasn’t rated at all), and I was twelve.

Ah, those were the times.

Every story deserves to be told. As long as Caligula’s in it.

Every story deserves to be told. As long as Caligula’s in it.

It’s an apes, apes, apes, apes planet. 

Barf Bags of the 1970s. Fill ‘em if ya got ‘em. 

F.K. vs. S.O.D.

F.K. vs. S.O.D.

He’ll save everyone of us. 

He’ll save everyone of us.